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The Bookkeeper

At the moment this is the only on going web novel that will have lewd illustrations. Supporters get access to lewder works.

Chapter One

S.I.B Savagely Intelligent Brother

“Una, I quite like that name, don’t you think?”

“But I already have a name.”

“That is most definitely not a name. It’s a simple alternative to naming you and your sisters. An alternative I’m not happy with but will accept for now.”

“I… don’t feel comfortable with such a name. You may as well paint a target on my back. They’ll think I’m getting special treatment.”

“You are getting special treatment, all of you are. How about this? Let’s make it a name you only tell your friends and loved ones. I make one of course, and your mother makes two, that is if you wish to tell her. But remember the rule is, you can’t kill your friends. Normally you shouldn’t kill your sisters either but… it’s a step in the right direction.”

“We don’t have friends, and we don’t love each other. We’re born to fight and kill.”

“True but that’s why with my blood, sweat, and tears I’ve created and implemented the buddy program. I’ve been working on adding fun incentives to using it. I do this because I love you, you and your sisters.”

“You can’t make different species like each other! Our hatred is engraved on our bones and it reads fuck you! Uh… uhm to them, n-not you, dad. And AND you sure as hell can’t love thousands of daughters! Love is being so attached to someone that when removed you feel like you may as well be dead! We’re soldiers, we’re going to die and be replaced, that’s part of our job as soldiers. Why even bother with this love shit?”

“… Because it’s my job to give you something I’ve never had… if not as a leader, then as a father. Now… who wants space ice cream? Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, or… the mysterious fourth flavor?”

“Wake up, wake up, it’s time to wake up! Don’t try to snooze this alarm clock because I’ll shock the pee out of ya!”

2218 was jarred awake by the AI’s playful yet very real threat booming in her cramped dark pod.

“I’m awake! Turn down your volume.”

“Denied! Now get out and stretch! One, two, three, one, two, three!” The childish AI boy sang.

The door to her pod cracked open, from the ground up, allowing an earthy scent to rush in and fill her nose. Her eyes adjusted to the light, taking a moment to stare out into the forest before her. Without warning a jolt of electricity shot through 2218 causing her to jump from the pod into the grass.

“Damn it, Sib!”

“Hurry up, hurry up! One, two, three, One, two, three!”

“I heard you the first time,” She grunted while reaching down to touch her toes.

“I’m putting in my report how much of a liar you are. There, done and done,” The AI said.

“Good for you. Where am I?”

“Unknown!” He sang cheerfully.



“Okay, what do you know?”

“You’re hard of hearing! This location is unknown! If you look to the left and then look to your right, you will see that both those locations are also unknown!”

She took a deep breath while focusing on stretching every part of her body.

“Thank you, Sib. Why did I wake up in an unknown location?”

“Officer Alais requested that in the event of an emergency deployment, your pod should be dropped in a random location away from the rest of your platoon and other platoons. She also requested that you be kept in cryo until one hour after,”

“What’s the emergency?” She asked, cutting off the AI. Her gaze couldn’t help but grow cold when the name Alais was mentioned. Still, she finished up her stretching routine.

“The Star Seeker is currently falling out of orbit!”

2218’s gaze quickly shot up at the blue sky, trying to locate it. Spinning around, she poked her head into her pod.

“Tell me what’s happening! Is the Captain safe?!” She roared.

“The Captain’s safety is unknown,” The AI said, his playful tone fading away for a moment. “But your objective is as follows. Locate and destroy an electromagnetic pulse generator. Doing so will allow the Star Seeker to safely operate,” Sib droned before his mood once again became playful. “Fun fact, probability of survival, zero point zero! You’re definitely going to die here!”

“Thank you for your honesty,” She said calmly. She reached into her pod and smacked her gloved left hand on the inner wall, “Sib, guns, now,” She demanded with little patience in her tone.

“Coming right up!” The childish AI yelled. He made the audio sound as if he was in the back of a kitchen cooking up a hot meal. “You want cheese with that, fatty?”

“Yes,” She droned, playing along while taking a glance around the forest. She didn’t need to look as the drop pod was one of very few advanced devices given to even fewer for very special occasions, maybe. Still, the sisters all had to be trained on it so she knew the pod had motion detection up to a few hundred kilometers.

“Motion detected!” Sib chimed with childish excitement. 2218 quickly put up her guard, spinning on the heels of her boots while snapping to a crouch. Sib went on to say, “Is what I would say if there was any motion detected!”

“Sib, you little bastard,” She said through gritted teeth.

“Isn’t it odd, being in the middle of a forest and all you hear is wind and flora? But what would you know, you’ve never touched grass before. You’re like a virgin… but for nature! Guns are ready!” The inner wall of the drop pod opened to reveal her new gear. “I cannibalized the pod to give you a bit more ammunition, you’re welcome!”

Plucking her rifle from the wall, she asked;

“My options?”

“Optional objective coming right up!” He sang. “Rescue Numbers 4273 and 5699. Perhaps they’ll help you die faster!” He cackled.

“This isn’t funny.”

“Yes, it is! Number 4273 of the Chaton species; A feline race that’s as territorial as they are hormonal. Then there’s Number 5699 of the demons who enjoy the pain and suffering of others as well as themselves. The funny part is, while these two may increase your odds of mission success, there’s a high possibility they’ll kill you on sight!”

“The factions have always been at each other’s throats but never to the point of full-out war. At least not under fathers command, making it highly unlikely.” 2218 pondered while hooking her rifle to a sling around her shoulder.

“Survival mode! What does one do when everyone is dying? You attack and kill everything around you!” Sib said.

“That makes sense for the Chaton but what about the demons? Don’t they… like death?” She asked while checking over her sidearm

“True! But the Captain seems to be the driving force behind their want to live. Amusingly that has not stopped the near total annihilation of their platoon, that goes for the Chaton as well, including Orcs, making that three platoons dead in under thirty minutes!”

“They’re all dead?”

“Correct! I would have told you sooner but you interrupted me, so there. I hope you’re happy. It’s to my understanding that Officer Alais predicted this possible outcome so had your actual drop changed.”

“How’s that possible and how do you even know this, on second thought, tell me on the way. Who’s closer, Number 4273 or 5699?”

“Same distance more or less, good luck finding them without a map! I’ll be here sleeping and watching movies!” He cackled.

She paused, blinking a few times, and said;

“… Code, four, twenty-three, fourteen, eighteen, ten, four, eleven, four, nineteen, fourteen, thirteen,” 2218 wasn’t sure if it would work or not. “Sib?” She called out a tad concerned before she could hear him scream.

“What the heck is a grunt like you doing with that code?! You stole it, didn’t you?!” Sib asked, clearly frustrated.

“No, it came to me in a dream. Does it work?”



“Yes, shut up! Ugh…”


My library was created to keep woke censorship away from my books and to avoid unfair algorithms.



Don't Cross The Bridge

A baby-faced little boy who's tougher than he looks with a smart mouth, and a pretty little girl with a mean right hook and a foul mouth.

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